Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
