Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
