I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you had me at cake vodka
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
