Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
vagina is talking i cant
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If I die, sorry about rent.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
