Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
