My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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