I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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