Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
