His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
