He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
