In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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