i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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