You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
