how can u be prego again
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
