The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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