ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize