Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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