I just made out with a guy for $7.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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