This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
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