tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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