I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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