I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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