The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My penis needs a shock collar
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
