i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
His hands were made for my vagina.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
