I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
