he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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