Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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