Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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