and next time when you feel me up, do it right
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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