I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
