Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I want to make a zoo with you.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
my shit smells like andre
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
