you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
