Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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