i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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