My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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