I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
