I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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