do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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