I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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