dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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