I must be too annoying 4 u.
I hate your face
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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