whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
