so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
