"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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