Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
FUCK WHALES
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