That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
