Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
