i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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