we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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