Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
