He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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