How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
