Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!

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(404): View more from Georgia

its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"

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(601): View more from Mississippi

i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy

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(636): View more from Missouri

Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.

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(281): View more from Texas

All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".

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(309): View more from Illinois

Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on

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(804): View more from Virginia

I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction

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