the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
