I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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