You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
