all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize